I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
