She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
