ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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