Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
