He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
