One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
