doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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