I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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