Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
