I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
