im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
