No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
