So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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