your thong is hanging out like whoa
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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