Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
