Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
