so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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