What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
