DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
