Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it's like iHOP with fire
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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