If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
