I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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