did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
