he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
