Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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