dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
