Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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