threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
