You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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