BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
