i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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