Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
