Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
