And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
