You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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