I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
