I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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