Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
