Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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