I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
