wanna go halves on a baby?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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