His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
