If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
