walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
