I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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