Define "chronic" masturbator.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
