So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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