you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Farmville is her only friend.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
