Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
