either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
